Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
