We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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