$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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