You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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