I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
