So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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