I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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