Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
