vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
