We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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