thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
