just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
