the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
