I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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