Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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