Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
