i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
