do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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