Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
