there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
