Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
should my penis look like a turkey
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
