Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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