Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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