i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
