Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
