Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
