i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize