hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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