chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
