god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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