I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
