if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
