there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
