he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize