You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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