he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
