dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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