btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
