I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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