VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
