Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
