I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
