I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
