I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
