So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
wanna go halves on a baby?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
