every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize