yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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