just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize