Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
