I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
