The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
