but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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