if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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