I think my vagina is haunted
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
