If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
