I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
