watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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