Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize