I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
