please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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