Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
