ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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